Murphy Brown: What the Fuck Ever Happened to That Show? Also, Warning: Swearing.

Yes, women once had hair like that and it even happened in my lifetime.  Think about that for a minute.  I'll wait.

Okay?  Good.  So, Murphy Brown.  It was a television show.  There was this painter who for some odd reason was apparently painting Murphy's house for about a decade.  Murphy had a baby at some point and I think the painter also took care of the baby, because, you know, when you have a baby you let your marginally-employed house painter take care of it for you.   The news director was like seventeen years old.  The perky blond was a ditz.  Murphy was a recovering drunk.  The lead anchor guy cared a lot about his hair.  Murphy had a different secretary each week.  And so on.

I don't throw these hazily and half remembered details at you without purpose.  I throw them at you because the children, who compose the majority of my audience that is not currently incarcerated (Hey!  Keep your heads up, guys!) will never know what a Murphy Brown is because the show is not available on DVD.  Now, Nate, you say, who cares if some television show from back in the time when television shows were standard-definition blurs playing on clunky square boxes is available on DVD?  I care, that's who!

Actually,  I don't care.  I preferred Married With Children and Night Court.  But I do care that the children of today, you poor, misguided, funny-looking children, will never understand that Murphy Brown was one of the most popular shows EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME!  And you can't get it on DVD!  It was one of the most popular sitcoms on TV for ten fucking years!  Ten!  Fucking!  Years!  There was a whole national debate about Murphy having a child out of wedlock!  The Vice President of the United States of America addressed it!  The Vice President!  Of the United States!  Of America!  Sure it was Dan Quayle but he was still the Vice President!  Ever heard a politician use the phrase "family values?"  That phrase entered the political lexicon BECAUSE OF THIS SHOW!  And there was also this huge deal about breast cancer awareness when Murphy Brown battled breast cancer herself during the show's final season!  Did you know that breast cancer WASN'T EVEN A THING until Murphy Brown?  IT DIDN'T EXIST!  [Editor's Note: The fuck?]  DID YOU KNOW THAT!?!  DID YOU!?!

[Editor's Note: Okay, I'm taking away your exclamation mark and capitalization privileges.]

And now, for lack of a DVD box set,  all those moments will be lost in time; like tears in the rain.  Time to die.

[Editor's Note: Yeah, that's actually the ending to Blade Runner, champ.  You got drunk and fell asleep while watching it last night.  Remember?]