This Is What People in Heaven Eat

But first,

I

Republicans Go Cuckoo Bananas

a) http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/05/us/politics/05steele.html

Michael Steele, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, sought to contain a growing furor within his party on Sunday as three Republican lawmakers questioned his effectiveness because of his suggestion that the military conflict in Afghanistan was not winnable and was “a war of Obama’s choosing."

To clarify for you kids out there, we're talking about a war that was (1) started by Obama's predecessor (2) because almost three thousand Americans were murdered.

Have you ever been involved in a conversation where the person you are talking to says something so bizarre that you simply smile and nod, assuming that you must have misheard him or completely misunderstood?  That's like what we have here, only if the person you were talking to also paused mid-conversation to urinate on the graves of three-thousand Americans before continuing, which would certainly be awkward to say the least.

b) http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/18/us/politics/18barton.html?

“I’m ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday,” Mr. Barton said in his opening statement. “I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown — in this case a $20 billion shakedown.”

Barton's remarks occurred during a televised meeting of the House Energy and Commerce hearing about the BP oil disaster.  Though outrage followed from both Republicans and Democrats, viewers were spared the worst of Barton's meltdown, the camera cutting away as he dropped to his knees, proclaimed BP chief executive, Tony Hayward, his "new dark lord and master," and then implored the other members of Congress to repeatedly shout Hayward's name in unison so that he would be elected through the process of acclamation as our "Virile and All-Knowing Emperor of these Fifty-States Which Bow United Beneath Him."  I wish I was making this up.  I am not.

The reason I mention these two stories isn't because I like to bring two-week old news to your attention for cheap laughs.  Well, yes, actually I guess that is the reason, and so now -


II


http://www.thisiswhyyourefat.com/?p=543931201

I came across that gastronomical monstrosity (a KFC Double Down Luther Sandwich) the other day when I was looking at pictures of the McGangBang, which is actually the name of a sandwich, and not something I accidentally stumbled across while searching for porn.  As far as you know.  Okay, just kidding, I stumbled across it while looking for porn.

The McGangBang is, according to urbandictionary.com, the preeminent source for all things gangbangy -

. . . a sandwich made from a double cheeseburger and a McChicken sandwich — where you put an entire McChicken sandwich inside a double cheeseburger.

I, for one, think that we as a society are moving in the right direction when one thing that we eat is now used as bread for another thing that we eat.  I'm pretty sure that's what they were doing in Rome right before the fa . . . a . . . a . . . ll lineup.  Yes, the fall lineup.  I'm pretty sure that's what they did in Rome right before the fall lineup.

Also, if you're keeping track at home, McGangBangs are reason #14 on the list of "Reasons Why the Terrorists Hate Us," right behind "Our Freedom" and ahead of, oddly, regular gang bangs.