Remember Kids: Kevin Garnett Hates People Who Have Cancer. And Puppies.

If you follow sports at all, you've probably come across this story in the last few days -

Villanueva tweet: 'KG called me a cancer patient'

Detroit's Charlie Villanueva appeared to launch some strong accusations at Boston's Kevin Garnett following the Celtics' 109-86 triumph over the Pistons Tuesday night at The Palace of Auburn Hills, suggesting via Twitter that Garnett called him a "cancer patient" as part of in-game trash-talking.

If you don't know, Charlie Villanueva is this guy -

a basketball player who suffers from alopecia universalis, a disease which causes him to have no hair, hence the "cancer patient" comment from Kevin Garnett.

Yesterday, Danny Ainge, the director of basketball operations for the Boston Celtics, defended Kevin Garnett with this argument -

http://sports.espn.go.com/boston/nba/news/story?id=5765301

[T]hat's just not something I've ever heard -- in 30 years -- ever say, in trash talking. What is logical in a trash talking situation for a player to say to another player, 'You have cancer' or 'You are cancer'?"

What is logical?  Ummm, the fact that the taunt is directed at a person who doesn't have hair, you know, like people who have undergone chemotherapy for cancer?  If you're too stupid to understand that, Mr. Ainge, then you probably shouldn't be allowed to eat soup unattended, let alone run a basketball team.

ESPN's Bill Simmons, The Most Popular Sportswriter in America (TM), and huuuuuuuuge Celtics fan, addressed the matter in a sidebar to Friday's football column -

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmonsnfl2010/101105

Bill Simmons offers up a defense of sorts by supporting the position that ESPN NBA analysts and former NBA players Jon Barry and Jalen Rose took on the matter -

To my delight, they [Jon Barry and Jalen Rose] both played the "what's said on the court should stay on the court" and "when I played, I heard MUCH worse than that" cards, even blaming Villanueva for breaking an unwritten code of sorts.  The best part: Jalen admitted that, back in the day, his trash-talking was consistently more vicious than what Garnett allegedly said.

You delight is misplaced, Bill.  Jon and Jalen come across as two old ex-jocks who are resigned to the TV studio instead of the basketball court, who puff out their chests at any chance they get because, I'd bet dollars to donuts, their dicks don't work anymore [Editor's Note: Remind me to take that out before this goes to print].  Speaking of doughnuts, they should have another one with Charles Barkley and leave the "things were different in my day" stories at home. They're an ancient baseball player who rattles on about how nobody today throws it as hard as Cy Young.  They're your grandfather talking about Jack Dempsey.  They're what happens to ex-athletes when the game has left them behind, yet they stagger pathetically after it.  They're jokes.  Punchlines.

Now Nate, you say, you sure are bringing out the big word-guns on Bill Simmons and Company with little provocation.  They're actually a good reason for my bile and it is this:  Months ago, Bill Simmons flipped out at an LA Times blogger who made a joke about an nightclub incident in 2000 where Celtics Star Paul Pierce was stabbed eleven times.

The LA Times removed the joke from the blog and I'm sure that Bill Simmons sending his entire internet army after it hastened the LA Times' decision.

To be honest, I'm not offended by Kevin Garnett's cancer jab and I'm not offended by the blogger's stabbing joke.  I am offended that Bill Simmons is so quick to look past Garnett's actions when he so recently went bonkers over somebody who made a joke that is certainly no more offensive than Garnett calling a guy a cancer patient.  You can't play your holier-than-thou card if you're going to pocket it every time somebody wearing the green and white says something stupid.