Bells! Whistles! Bellwhistles! Is That a Thing? I Don't Know!

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Exciting news on the blogfront, which is a lot like a battlefront, but with, you know, blogs and not battles.  Oddly, France has surrendered when faced with both.  

So on to the exciting news.  First, I'd like to announce all new sponsorships -

I'm not even joking.  Those are actual ads from my Google Adsense sidebar.  Two things:

(1) The Muslim Singles ad was next to this blog, where, in regards to a politician questioning the war in Afghanistan, I wrote - 

That's like what we have here, only if the person you were talking to also paused mid-conversation to urinate on the graves of three-thousand Americans before continuing, which would certainly be awkward to say the least.

That's what you would call a Google Sensitivity Fail, or GSF.

(2) On a scale of One to Hitler, how bad of a person does it make me that the first thing that sprang into my mind when I saw the Equestrian Singles ad was "Bestiality Porn?"  It can't make me too terrible of a person because you all thought of it as well, right?  Do no lie to me!  DO NOT LIE!

Exciting news the second:

As of this minute, I'm promoting my cat to Head Copywriter.

And exciting news the third:

I've decided that we need a little more order around here, a little more structure.  I've been toying with the idea of having a number of blog themes with graphics and everything for some time now.  The impetus behind this was my desire to republish some old blogs, perhaps updated, and to preface them with a graphic like this -

If I'm writing about sports, then I think I'm going to use my old sports blog header -

Make sense?  No?  Well it doesn't matter if it makes sense because it is progress and you can't stop it.